Dear Griffin: 1 month

Dear Griffin,

You are one month old. Actually you are older than that. I've been trying for three days to write you a letter about your first month of life but haven't gotten past the first sentence for the following reasons:

1. You started crying.

2. Clark shattered one or more of our nice bowls on the ground.

3. Clark plastered your face with stickers.

4. Clark shoved a goldfish in your mouth.

5. You pooped or something.

6. I fell asleep from the energy it now takes me to put words together.

Griffin, you are such an easy, sweet, angelic little baby. You have made the transition from one baby to two so easy for me, and for that I am so grateful. When you are old enough, just remind me how wonderful you were as a baby and I'll buy you some Bop's ice cream. I can't honestly say the past month has flown by for me. One month of you being around seems about right. You just fit right into our little family dynamic from the minute you were born and have already added so much to it. Little man, from the first second I laid eyes on you, you owned me. I am completely smitten over you and will probably never be able to tell you no. You will be spoiled and it will all be my fault.

For the first two or three weeks of your life I called you Clark. Sorry about that. The only reason is because you looked EXACTLY like your older brother. It was like some crazy sci-fi time warp situation when I held you because everything about you reminded me of him when he was a newborn. Slowly but surely, you have definitely developed your own little features and characteristics and I can see a little personality blooming everyday.

I think it is safe to say you slept through your first two weeks of life. When you can talk, I hope you'll be able to tell me what that was like. You were one sleepy boy and I had to pull out all the stops to keep you awake long enough to take a full feeding. You would have slept straight through your hunger pains if I would have let you. I had hoped once you entered the world you would have been excited to meet us, but that wasn't the case at all. I didn't mind because you love to be snuggled while you sleep. You have the most serene way of nestling your sweet little head right against my neck and staying there for hours. And that is exactly where you lived for the first week of your life. In my arms, your head against my neck, my arm holding your little bum. I love the way you smell, by the way. It is intoxicating.

I started trying to start us a little routine in your second week. It wasn't easy because of your marathon sleeping habits during the day, so I had to be super flexible. I tried to keep you awake after you ate even for 15 minutes and that was nearly impossible most of the time. I thought about sticking ice cubes down your diaper but decided that was probably cruel and unusual, and somebody should probably punch me in the face for even thinking it. It was also during your second week that you peed and pooped on me, and that was awesome. Thanks. You grew pretty fast that week because at the end of it I had to box up all of your newborn onesies and replace them with 0-3 months.

In your third week you kind of picked up on the concept of staying awake after you ate. You can stay awake for about an hour max, usually less, and then you nap for two hours. Repeat three more times throughout the day and then it is night time, and that is when the party starts. When you are awake, you are content to sit and watch the chaos that constantly surrounds you. It is a good thing you like your bouncer seat because that is where you spend a majority of the day. I would love more than anything to be holding you and rocking you and snuggling the crap out of you when you are awake, but there is a little toddler boy running around our house who has other plans for me. I do sneak some face time in with you as much as possible though and it instantly makes me giddy. You are definitely not a crier. I can count on two fingers the number of times you have cried that wasn't out of hunger or sleepiness. That is what I meant earlier when I said you are such an easy baby.

Not too much changed in your fourth week, but I did notice that you reached some pretty big milestones. You probably won't find this too impressive, but I wanted to throw you a party when I saw you reach for the little toys that hang from your bouncer. You are already batting at them and trying to make them swing. Genius. You also figured out how to put your hands together. Again, not exactly rocket science but I think you might be president one day. We took you to church at the beginning of the fourth week and you got lots of compliments on how handsome you are. You get compliments everywhere you go because you are one good looking fellow. I'm not biased at all.

Hey, do you remember that time you were born? You didn't give me a lot of heads up you were coming and you almost fell right out of my body. In case you don't remember, you can read about your story right here. I will probably use that story to guilt you into being nice to me when you are older. Well, apparently that is just your style. You are the quietest, most content baby I have ever encountered, until the very second you decide you are hungry. And then out of nowhere, you are able to belt out the loudest, most panicky yelp possible. After you eat you go back to straight up chillin' mode like you don't have a care in the world. You have spunk, and I like that about you.

By now you are probably used to the little person who is constantly screaming in your ear, sticking his finger up your nose and trying to stuff goldfish down your throat. That little person is your older brother, Clark, and really he loves you. He loves to kiss your head and pet you like a dog and say, "Hey Grif, how ya doin' great?" I can't leave him in the same room with you unattended because he doesn't really know how to handle you yet. But he loves to hold you and I have taken about three thousand pictures of him holding you to prove it. In the mornings after he wakes up, he always asks about you and wants to "hold it." You've probably noticed he can be pretty loud at times, especially in the car. But you are very patient with him, even though he can accidentally be pretty rough with you. Eventually you'll need to start sticking up for yourself, but you are playing your cards right for now.

In case you are curious, at your first doctors appointment (which was supposed to be a two week check up but since that fell during Christmas holidays, you didn't get seen until you were three weeks old), you weighed ten pounds and six ounces. You have gained a whopping one pound since you were born, which is actually kind of impressive. The doctor said big babies like you are a little slower to gain weight so he was happy. You nurse seven or eight times a day, including the middle of the night feedings, so I wasn't worried about you not gaining weight. I can already see how you have grown since the day you were born. It makes me sad and happy. More sad than happy. But still happy. But definitely sad. But happy you are healthy. But sad you are growing fast. Did you catch all that?

When it comes to night time sleep, I wouldn't say you are the world's worst sleeper, but you won't be receiving a medal any time soon. For the first couple of weeks, you clearly had your days and nights mixed up. You were up almost every hour, which meant I was up almost every hour. Ouch. Once I put you on a schedule in the day you got better at night. Instead of waking up, say, 75 times during the night, you got to where you would wake up three times. And now you are pretty consistently waking up twice, and that's ok, but I would like it if you wouldn't wake up at all. So why don't you just get right on that? On the day you turned four weeks old, I moved you to your crib in your own room. You had been sleeping in a little bassinet right next to our bed because I am incredibly lazy and unmotivated to move my body in the wee hours of the morning. While I don't enjoy doing the zombie walk from my room to yours a couple of times in the middle of the night, I absolutely love spending that time with you. You always fall asleep in my arms and we rock for a while before I put you back in your crib. We don't get to do that very much during the day so I'll take what I can get, even if I'm falling asleep too.

Grif, you are an awesome person. Daddy and I have loved spending this past month with you. You are such a breath of fresh air, even though you are incredibly gassy and you doodoo like a madman. Your little mannerisms are precious and your little squeaks and sounds make us smile. I can't promise you we are going to do everything right, but I can promise you this: we will always love you, no matter what. God will always love you more. We will always be there for you. At the end of the day, your family and faith is all you have. I am very much looking forward to watching you grow during your second month. I'm on pins and needles waiting for that first real smile. It's coming any day now, I just know it.

Love,

Mama

P.S. Our internet is acting up and won't let me post more pictures, but I will fix it soon and put some more up so you and the whole world can see how beautiful you are.