Battery points.

The top 10 things you need to know today:

1. Clark calls bullets "batteries." Aaron took Clark with him to zero his rifle (Is that the correct wording? I wouldn't know) and somehow Clark interpreted it as "Daddy shoots batteries out of his gun and the batteries hurt the paper."

Thus the name of this post is being called "Battery points" (instead of bullet points) because I'm feeling like a giant turd today and am avoiding thought-making at all costs.

2. Griffin will turn eleven months old in only four days. Good gosh, that is nonsense. He still looks and acts very much like a baby to me, so I'm going to be in for a hayday when he turns one year old.

3. A very mean, large busted, old woman yelled at me at the gym this morning. I was in the locker room and my phone rang. I normally wouldn't have answered, but I didn't recognize the number so I did.

Sue me.

She walked past me, wearing only a towel that barely fit around her upper body and water shoes, while I was on the phone with somebody about hopefully buying the Camry that we are trying to sell, and said in a very loud, annoyed tone, "Excuse me, but there is a STRICT no phone policy in here, and I would appreciate it if you would FOLLOW the rules." Then she preceded to violently point to a very small little framed sign next to a sink that said "No phones, please." Gahhh. If I'm a grumpy turd like that woman was when I get old, every single person who reads this blog has the duty and obligation to punch me in the face and remind me of this incident.

4. Do you want to know what is NOT on my paleo diet? The five chocolate chip cookies I ate yesterday and the two that I ate today. Yesterday I was just having a moment that required an obscene amount of chocolate, and I conveniently had a roll of Pillsbury cookie dough (not Great Value brand, Amy). I put five spoonfuls on a cookie sheet with intentions of letting Clark and Aaron have some, but when I pulled them out of the oven they were perfect and hot and after I ate one, I immediately devoured the other four. Sorry family. I felt gross the rest of the day and vowed to never do that to myself again.

Until today. I needed to find something to do with Clark this afternoon before his nap (which has turned into quiet room time because he has done away with the whole idea of day sleep). We could have done something productive and active and calorie burning outside in gorgeous weather, but chocolate chip cookies sounded like a tastier idea. This time I decided to make them from scratch and let Clark help with every little detail. It was hilarious and so much fun and I'm glad I took pictures throughout the whole experience because I don't ever want to forget how cute and curious he was about the cookie making process. He's such a cool kid. I was giving myself a pep talk the entire time about how I did not need to eat even one cookie. We were going to give them away and Clark could have one or two and Aaron could have a couple and that would be all. But they came out of the oven, hot and perfect, and I uncontrollably scarfed down two cookies and almost cried when I tasted how good they were. But two was all. No more. Even though I have about three dozen very chewy cookies sitting on my counter right now making my house smell edible.

5. Clark is almost three years old. I am going to attempt to capture as much as I can about how awesome he is in a blog post, but there is no way I will do him justice. I just love the tar out of him.

6. The end of daylight savings time has oddly enough been a fairly good thing for us Rice folks, even though our day now starts at approximately 6:15 in the morning. Instead of sleeping in the extra hour like we would have in the good old days, we now have an extra hour to talk, eat breakfast together, play chase,  and get ready in the morning. Griffin sometimes has to take three naps now instead of two, but we are making it work. I'm going to work towards getting us back to our normal 7:30 am morning routine, but for now, I'm kind of digging it.

7. I miss Nikki. She's been in Columbia for 51 days. I just can't even describe how much I miss that woman. This deserves an entire post all to itself, which will happen in the very near future.

8. My mom is my hero. She has been fighting breast cancer for four years and is currently going through more chemotherapy. But you would never know it. She wears a beautiful smile and her heart outshines anyone I have ever known. Cancer does not define her. I'm grateful to be her daughter and to witness firsthand how to gracefully fight some of life's hardest battles.

9. There is a huge blank wall above my couch in the living room and I have no clue as to what to put on it. A huge mirror? One huge picture? Three smaller pictures? A photo collage? I wish I had even one ounce of interior decorating in my veins. I know nothing.

10. Clark told me when I picked him up from school yesterday that he had to go to Time Out because he pushed a baby. Not one of my proudest parenting moments.